I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm like, not good at living.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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