i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
