apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
