Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
