What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
