In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
