you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
