you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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