mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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