So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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