I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
