My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
