You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
