so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
false alarm. still invincible.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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