the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
