Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
