I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
