I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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