I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
