Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
