just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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