i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Also, beer. Big fan.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
