Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
