just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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