Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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