That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
