im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
