should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize