I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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