At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
