I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
