dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
