Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
