They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
