end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
