Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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