The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
