dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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