a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
