This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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