So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Operation Purity has been aborted
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
