Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
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