please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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