During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
