What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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