haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
