If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
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