Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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