TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
