Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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