He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
