my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We are two peas in an std pod
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
