That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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