At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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