My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
