You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
