oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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