Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize