hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
