well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
