I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
