I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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