and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I had to cum in my sink.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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