sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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