the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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