Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
