somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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