Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
