I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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