everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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