I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize