I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
