Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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