she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
