Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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