made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
