Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
