I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
