I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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