dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
