Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
